Antidepressants

Fluoxetin – no more

Opipramol – no more

I finally stopped taking them about 2 weeks ago. It was about damn time too.

My weight gain already went up to almost 18 kg (ca. 40 lbs). I feel fat though people tell me that I am still not. One of my friends keeps telling me that at this weight I look healthier than ever. I can hardly keep myself from accusing him of lying. The stretch marks really bother me too.

But the worst thing is: none of my pants fit me no more. Shopping for new pants is a pain in the ass, literally.

Hopefully it will be all gone soon.

So far I feel fine. I feel like I am finally being ‘healthy’. Still have panic attacks and I am scared of most human interactions but way less than before. I’d say it’s gone down to a normal level. What ever a normal level is

.

When I used to think about how out of control I was when I entered the clinic late 2013 and how horrible I was the whole year and in reoccurring periods all my life before that, I got sick to the stomach. But now I have the impression that I got over it, that it will never be as bad as it was. Gosh, I hope I am right.

At this point I wish I would have written down more about my journey. Oh well I guess you can’t expect too much from someone suffering from depression.

Let’s see if I will experience any withdrawal symptoms. For now it’s all good!