Holy Guacamoly 
It's awful to be back home. I haven't felt this lonely in quite a while.
And now I am back in my bed and I don't know what.
I desperately seek for people to connect with and then I block them off and rather stay in bed anyways. I don't get my own thinking. Grrr.

I hope it's just the getting used to normal life after the past weeks of being surrounded by people 24/7. The fear of falling back into depression is almost as bad as the depression itself. Well not really that much but I freaking hate it. I get scared even at the slightest sign of sadness. But it is ok to be sad sometimes. It is ok to cry one's heart out. Not everything is depression. I have to keep repeating this to me so I don't freak out.