Apocalypse Con/LARP

So this already happened over a month ago.

I didn't even have the money for it but I was so horribly down that week. No amount of antidepressants could keep me from freaking out, crying and freaking out some more. I actually feel sick to my stomach when I think back how I felt. 

So anyways, I raided a bit from my savings account and borrowed most of my costume from a friend's wife and had enough distractions for the whole weekend.

It was so worth it! And I really felt better afterwards.  

(Except I had the flu for a week afterwards xD)

The story was set in a postapocalyptic world full of radiation. 

A tribe of gypsies lived there. Lot's of mutated rats, frogs and penguins. 

I actually didn't get much on the plot, I think none of us really did. We went there as NPC's and mostly just enjoyed the scenery and shenanigans. 

Here a few more so ya'll can get a feel for it :D

                                                                                  

This is ehh was Halloween

Oh Halloween

Favourite day of the year

So halloween. Nothing expensive this year. 

I built a little something for the kids in the frontyard.

The parts of my costume I mostly already owned. Just got some contacts and a large piece of lace a hood something.

After scaring some kids we went to ehm supposedly Europe's biggest halloween party and a party at a friends workplace, which was pretty awesome also.

We'll have to be more creative with our costumes next year :) 

Moved and other shit.

Moved next to the Bodensee again! Ah like 1.5 months ago.
Have I been stressed out? Semi.
Lot's of stuff needs to be done. And now that I have less money and have to pay rent, it doesn't get easier. I barely get enough paid for my internship/bachelor thesis to cover rent, food, phone and gas. Well actually it doesn't even cover that and I already have the cheapest room I could find.
My laptop is making moves on breaking on me. I really hope it doesn't.
I have an IPod laying around somewhere that I stopped using when I got my phone 2 years ago. So I am gonna sell that and size down on whatever else I own and try to sell that too.
Totally hope that that will somehow get me through this semester and I can get a better paid job for my next and hopefully last semester until I graduate and am able to get an actual job.

I don't have any student loans or other support. I used to get an allowance from my dad, but well let's just say that spendings on the kids are not equal in this family, so I had to cut back for someone else's luxury. That's a whole story by itself. But someone bought an apartment for someone else and the first someone has to pay the money back to the third someone he borrowed it from and that's why I don't get an allowance no more.
But at least I don't have any debts yet. Which actually makes me really really happy.

 Ah shit. I hate complaining like that. But lately every thought I had was something along the lines of how am I paying for this, can I afford that. I need Photoshop and Illustrator for a class, got no money for it. And I constantly keep cancelling on my friends cuz I don't have enough to come home for the weekend or the activity that is planned.

YAY FOR BLADDER INFECTION - No don't .. just don't!!

Feckin' feck. 2 days left till the job interview and what do I do? Yeah that's right: I fall sick! 

Feckin' feckin' feck. Sh**!!

I cannot stop cursing.  I'd rather have a fever but then again I would just curse as much if I did. There is no cure for cursing. Grrr!!

And now for the rest of the day I will "waste" my time watching all of Hannah Hart's videos on youtube. Such a crush on that woman! Also I will do my best to avoid doing any of my paper work and end up doing all of it once I reach the peak of boredom. Dang, I actually had plans for today, kinda. 

The colour of the month

Yay finally I got around to putting a bit more colour in. Geez, it feels weird to be so colourful again!

I love the colours. I think it turned out really well. Didn't bleach all the way up to the roots, just a few streaks. After all I still do want to grow it out into a more ombre kinda look. 

Aww. Such a good day so far. Plus I got a call this morning: Job Interview next week :D

What a job with that hair, you say? That's just fine. I had an internship there a year back. They already know I look like a tropical bird :D

Holy Guacamoly 
It's awful to be back home. I haven't felt this lonely in quite a while.
And now I am back in my bed and I don't know what.
I desperately seek for people to connect with and then I block them off and rather stay in bed anyways. I don't get my own thinking. Grrr.

I hope it's just the getting used to normal life after the past weeks of being surrounded by people 24/7. The fear of falling back into depression is almost as bad as the depression itself. Well not really that much but I freaking hate it. I get scared even at the slightest sign of sadness. But it is ok to be sad sometimes. It is ok to cry one's heart out. Not everything is depression. I have to keep repeating this to me so I don't freak out. 

It's been forever

Oh uupsi. How did that happen? 

I told myself I would really follow through with this blog but well I didn't. Again!

But I ain't giving up just yet!

Been outside for the past few weeks. It was exhausting but worth it. 

Didn't take too many pictures though.

After the panic attacks and depression peaked again for a little while I guess I am ok right now. 

Now that I got a little bit of a tan my scars on my lower arm got very visible. While I don't really mind right now, people tend to touch it and ask about it more than usual. I am still not good with explaining them. I tend to tell people that I got caught on something instead of telling them that I inflicted them myself. 

Oh yeah 2014

Looks like I am single again. Damn you 2014 you were supposed to be perfect!  But I can still handle this!